Chuck Versus The First Pet
by PEANUT v1.2
Summary: A month into their marriage, Chuck surprises his wife with an unexpected gift. Needless to say, things didn't go exactly as planned. Charah oneshot.


Chuck Versus The First Pet

"Chuck, you know I don't like surprises," Mrs. Sarah Bartowski said, lifting her hand to the ones that Chuck was using to cover her eyes. He was the only person she'd let this close to her, since she was generally suspicious of every person she came in contact with. She was changing because of her loving husband, but old habits died hard. She wanted to know where he was leading her, and what was in store for her.

"Ah-ah-ah, don't you worry," Chuck said, leading Sarah down the hallway of their home. "This is one that you're going to like. I guarantee it."

"The Chuck Bartowski Guarantee?" she asked in amusement.

"You got it babe," he replied with a smirk, carefully turning his wife to walk into the bedroom. They had been married about a month, and their lives were starting to become less chaotic as they set up their new spy business and continued their work with the Buy More. And, of course, their marriage was running smoothly. No major fights yet. And since Chuck always freaked out with fights, he thought long and hard about this surprise before he went through with it.

He was sure Sarah would love it.

"Okay….Open your eyes!" Chuck said, looking at the surprise that was sitting in their bedroom.

"Chuck?"

"Hm?" He looked down and realized his hands were still over her eyes. "Oh, right…It would help if I…" He removed his hands sheepishly and placed them on her shoulders as he stood behind her. He wished he could see her expression, but the gasp was enough of a reaction to him.

Sarah saw the German Shepherd that was residing in its cage, staring up at her and Chuck.

"You went out and bought a dog?" she asked her husband. She couldn't help but look over her shoulder at him, a question in her eyes. Was this some kind of a joke?

"Hey, c'mon, don't look at me like that. Now that we've settled down, we can afford to have a pet. You said you always wanted one…"

"Well, yeah, but…" _But shouldn't it just be us a little longer? _She glanced from the dog's eyes to Chuck's brown ones, seeing that his "puppy-dog eyes" were more convincing than the German Shepherd's. He really wanted this to work out. Sighing, she turned around and set a hand on his chest. "We'll try it out."

"Yay!" Chuck said in excitement. "That's good, because I already bought a month's worth of dog food."

"A **month**?"

"Hey, hey, don't worry," Chuck said with a smile, stroking Sarah's shoulder with his thumb. "If we can't last that long, we'll give the dog food to Morgan. He'll eat anything." He leaned forward and gave Sarah a peck on the lips before he moved past her, kneeling down to let the three year old dog out of its cage. He saved it from a shelter, and he had gotten a pretty good deal on the pooch. She was really sweet to him when he went to buy her, so he was sure she would be just as sweet now that she belonged to him and Sarah. One thing, though… "We still need a name, though."

"Okay, uh…Well…We don't need to come up with it right away, do we? I mean, we hardly know her personality, so how can we give her a name if we don't know her? "

Chuck unlatched the door to the cage and released the dog, who rushed out past him to Sarah. He had to smile to himself when the dog lovingly started licking Sarah's legs. He watched in silence as his wife bent down and returned the dog's affection, getting past her shock and showing sincere affection once she got over the shock of having such an affectionate pet.

_This is going to be great._

…

"This is going to be a living Hell," Sarah moaned, plopping down on her and Chuck's bed after another hard day. It had only been one week since Chuck surprised her with the dog, but it seemed so much longer than that. That dog was terrible. She knew it, and so did Chuck. But he wasn't willing to give up on a "hopeless case." He always saw the best in everyone, and Sarah supposed that it was the same with the dog. What he said next only convinced her of that.

Sarah's husband approached the bed, responding to his wife in a tired tone. "She just needs a little training, that's all." But he sighed and crashed down on his side of the bed, in his undershirt and his boxers as he laid on his back. He was tired of this too.

"She toilet-papered the whole house."

"Well….I guess I didn't buy her enough toys to keep her entertained."

"She scratched up the furniture."

"The bed I bought her wasn't comfortable enough for her."

Sarah was sick of his excuses; that dog was bad to the bone. "She stole food right off your plate, Chuck!"

"W-who wants to eat that nasty dog food anyway? I mean, it's really not that tasty. Even Morgan wouldn't eat it."

Sarah turned on her side, looking over at Chuck with an arched brow. "Wait. You've tried it?"

Chuck only glanced at her briefly before he looked back to the ceiling in embarrassment.

"Chuck," Sarah sighed in disbelief.

"Well…I wanted to find some excuse to cover for her. She's just seeing how far she can push us, that's all."

"Yeah, and she's pushed us off the deep end, Chuck," Sarah said in frustration. "It's like she owns the house."

"Okay, now you're over reacting."

Sarah sighed, looking at the ceiling. She hadn't wanted to tell this to Chuck, but he was bound to notice eventually. She was half-surprised that he hadn't yet, but then again, they were always busy whether they were home or not. Not only was work with the Buy More keeping them busy, but so was their spy agency. And the dog was taking away from whatever romantic time she and Chuck were supposed to have as newlyweds.

_Time to break the news to him._

"Chuck, she chewed the head off one of your action figures."

That caught Chuck's attention.

He quickly bolted upright while staring down at Sarah with wide eyes. "No."

"Yes."

"She didn't…She…Oh…Which one was it?" he asked in worry.

"Um…I think it was the one with the silver hair." She looked over and saw that wasn't enough information. "You know, um…He had a sword and the helmet on his head, and armor and cape..."

Chuck groaned in disbelief. "She ate off Firion's head? That was a rare model from the original Final Fantasy II Japanese game. I had to go through the Japanese black market to get that one."

"Yeah, not so funny now is it?" Sarah asked with an arched brow.

"No, not funny at all. But I can't just give up on her after a week…"

_Why does he have to be so compassionate?_ Sarah thought in desperation. She wanted this dog gone, and she was ready to do anything to kick her out of the house. But she had no friends to give her away to, so…

"Ah! Mother of sweet things!"

Sarah rolled over onto her side just in time to see the dog step off of Chuck's lower torso, leaving her husband groaning and writing in pain. She felt bad that she wanted to laugh at that, but she had to admit, she liked that the dog was giving him more reasons to dislike her.

The German Shepherd laid down between Chuck and Sarah, closer to the latter as Chuck continued squirming in pain. As this continued on, Sarah couldn't help but smirk. "You know, maybe she's not bad after all."

"Ngh." Chuck rolled over and looked at Sarah with a pained expression.

She just smiled at him and started petting the dog, the pet they had yet to name. "It's best to give her away before we get too close to her. We haven't even gotten a name yet."

"That's where you're wrong," Chuck managed, recovering from his attack as he looked at his wife. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I think I've got the right name picked out for her."

"What's that?"

"Jill."

Sarah stopped petting the dog, looking across the pet to Chuck. "Jill. You're naming our first pet after your first lover, who betrayed you and abandoned you in the lowest point of your life. That Jill?" Chuck couldn't possibly be serious, naming the first pet after somebody who betrayed him and tried to steal him away from Sarah. This was a joke.

"Oh, uh, I hadn't made that connection…I just thought I knew a few Jill's who were trouble makers, but still lovable, and…" He felt Sarah's glare intensify. "Yeah, I'll shut up now."

"That's a good idea," she said in anger, rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling.

"But I'm sure you've been thinking about names, and if this was a guy, you might have named him Bryce."

She didn't respond.

Chuck felt his alarm grow. "Sarah? You would seriously name our first pet after the guy who kicked me out of Stanford and tried stealing you away from me? And don't you dare try to use my excuse; there aren't many Bryce's in the world."

"….."

The man sighed, eyebrows furrowing. "You know what…" He trailed off and rolled onto his opposite side, facing away from Sarah and the dog. Sarah rolled so she was looking away from him as well. If they both wanted to have this stupid little fight, then they could. But then again…Chuck didn't want even a stupid little fight come between them, not after they were married. That would have been a bad sign for the future, wouldn't it have been.

The dog whined between them. The silence that followed that whimper didn't last long.

"Look," Sarah said with a sigh. Both the people rolled over and faced each other while ignoring the dog. "I don't want a dog coming between us. That's stupid."

"You're right, you're right," Chuck said in sadness. But…did that mean that he had to get rid of the dog? That was his only choice if he wanted to keep his relationship with Sarah flowing smoothly. The marriage was worth more than a dog. "Now's not the time for us to have a pet anyway. I'll hand her off to Morgan."

"I already talked to Morgan. He doesn't want her messing up his new apartment."

_Morgan, budd, _Chuck thought._ Since when have you cared about things being a mess? I guess Casey rubbed off on you too much…_

Chuck bolted upright. "That's it." He knew who he was going to give the dog away to.

"Chuck…" Sarah said, giving him a look. She understood his crazy idea, even if he hadn't said anything aloud. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am."

…..

The very next day, Chuck handed off the dog's leash to Colonial John Casey.

"Thanks a lot, Casey. I'm sure you'll enjoy having Frieda. She's quite the fighter. She likes beating people up, taking down baddies…And she's a republican. She's your perfect match."

Chuck walked away after giving his lies, glad that the dog was finally off his hands. Casey could do whatever he wanted with the dog as long as he didn't kill her, and Chuck couldn't see Casey killing a dog no matter how misbehaved it was.

His friend gave one of his infamous grunts, and that was the end of that.

**Author's notes: It's been fun writing my first Chuck oneshot. I wrote it all in one day, but I feel like it turned out good and I captured a lot of the humor that takes place in the TV show. I enjoyed sneaking in references from the show, and if you found them, good for you. (: Another good thing for you to find would be my other writing here on . Please review, and I hope that the humorous story made you smile. (:**


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